Place eggs in a single layer (or as close as you can get) in a large saucepan. Cover with enough water so there is 1 1/2 inches of water above the eggs. Heat on medium-high (not high - otherwise you risk cracking eggs) until water begins to boil. Let boil gently for 1 minute (5 minutes for high altitude), turning down the heat, if necessary, to reduce possible egg crackage. Remove from heat, cover, and let sit 14 - 20 minutes (higher time for high altitude). Using tongs or a slotted spoon, extract eggs from saucepan and immediately place in a bowl filled ice and water.
Crack and carefully peel eggs under cool running water. Gently dry the eggs, slice in half lengthwise, and remove yolks to a mixing bowl. Place the whites on a decorative serving platter and set aside. Use the paddle attachment on your mixer* to mix the yolks into a fine crumble, sans large clumps. Add mustard, Miracle Whip, cider vinegar, salt, and pepper, and mix well. Mix in optional capers.
Distribute heaping teaspoons of the yolk mixture into the patiently waiting egg whites. Sprinkle with paprika and serve. Prepare to hear the words "best deviled eggs ever".